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Weather jokes


weather or not u like it there will always b weather

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Joke #536 posted in the category: Weather jokes.

To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog.

If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it’s probably raining.

But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.

If the dog’s fur looks like it’s been rubbed the wrong way, it’s probably windy.

If the dog has snow on his back, it’s probably snowing.

Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.

Sincerely,

The Cat

-1+

Joke #3253 posted in the category: Weather jokes.

1. ”Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken
clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and
remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”

2. ”Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and, in the
event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take
them with you with our compliments.”

3. ”As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your
belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among
the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

4. And from the pilot during his welcome message: ”Delta airlines
is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the
industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”

5. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly
windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to
fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, ”Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened
while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate

-129+

Joke #6653 posted in the category: Weather jokes.

1. ”Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken

clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and

remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”

2. ”Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and, in the

event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take

them with you with our compliments.”

3. ”As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your

belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among

the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

4. And from the pilot during his welcome message: ”Delta airlines

is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the

industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!”

-0+

Joke #6667 posted in the category: Weather jokes.

The Michaels family owned a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for generations. Mrs. Michaels, who had just celebrated her ninetieth birthday, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.

One day, her son came into her room holding a letter. ”I just got some news, Mom,” he said. ”The government has come to an agreement with the people in Washington. They’ve decided that our land is really part of the United States. We have the right to approve or disapprove of the agreement. What do you think?”

”What do I think?” his mother said. ”Jump at it! Call them right now and tell them we accept! I don’t think I could stand another one of those Canadian winters!”

-0+

Joke #20574 posted in the category: Weather jokes.

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