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Winter jokes


A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm.

He dropped down into a pasture of cows. Looking for a place to land, he came down right on top of a big cow pie. At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was thawing him out! He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, saw the bird, and ate it

There are three morals to this story:

1. Not everyone who gets you into shit is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. If you are in shit, keep your mouth shut.

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Joke #122 posted in the category: Winter jokes.

98% of Americans say ”OH S$! & ” before going in the ditch on a slippery road.

The other 2% are from Buffalo or Rochester, NY and they say, ”Hold my beer and WATCH THIS!”

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Joke #19300 posted in the category: Winter jokes.

50 Fahrenheit (10 C)

New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.

Canadians plant gardens.

40 Fahrenheit (4. 4 C)

Californians shiver uncontrollably

Canadians Sunbathe.

35 Fahrenheit (1. 6 C)

Italian Cars won’t start

Canadians drive with the windows down

32 Fahrenheit (0 C)

Distilled water freezes

Canadian water gets thicker.

0 Fahrenheit (-17. 9 C)

New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.

Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

- 40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)

Hollywood disintegrates.

Canadians rent some videos.

- 60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)

Mt. St. Helen’s freezes.

Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

- 100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)

Santa Claus abandons the North Pole

Canadians pull down their earflaps.

- 173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)

Ethyl alcohol freezes.

Canadians get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.

- 459. 4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)

Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.

Canadians start saying ”cold, eh? ”

- 500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)

Hell freezes over.

The Leafs win the Cup

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Joke #19922 posted in the category: Winter jokes.

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, ”Is this winter to be cold?” The man on the phone responded, ”This winter is going to be quite cold indeed.” So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, ”Is it going to be a very cold winter?” ”Yes”, the man replied, ”it’s going to be a very cold winter.” So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: ”Are you absolutely sure that thewinter is going to be very cold?” ”Absolutely,” the man replies, ”the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!”

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Joke #21011 posted in the category: Winter jokes.

Did You Hear About The 2 Poles Who Went Ice Fishing

they Both Caught 10 Pounds Of Ice

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Joke #24879 posted in the category: Winter jokes.

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