A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm.
He dropped down into a pasture of cows. Looking for a place to land, he came down right on top of a big cow pie. At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was thawing him out! He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, saw the bird, and ate it
There are three morals to this story:
1. Not everyone who gets you into shit is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. If you are in shit, keep your mouth shut.
50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Canadians plant gardens.
40 Fahrenheit (4. 4 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
35 Fahrenheit (1. 6 C)
Italian Cars won’t start
Canadians drive with the windows down
32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
Distilled water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker.
0 Fahrenheit (-17. 9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Canadians have the last cookout of the season.
- 40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)
Canadians rent some videos.
- 60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helen’s freezes.
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.
- 100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Canadians pull down their earflaps.
- 173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Canadians get frustrated when they can’t thaw the keg.
- 459. 4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Canadians start saying ”cold, eh? ”
- 500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Leafs win the Cup
The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, ”Is this winter to be cold?” The man on the phone responded, ”This winter is going to be quite cold indeed.” So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, ”Is it going to be a very cold winter?” ”Yes”, the man replied, ”it’s going to be a very cold winter.” So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: ”Are you absolutely sure that thewinter is going to be very cold?” ”Absolutely,” the man replies, ”the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!”-0+