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Witch jokes

Witch: Doctor, I can’t help pulling ugly faces.

Doctor: Well there’s nothing terrible about that.

Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don’t like them being pulled.


Joke #11886 posted in the category: Witch jokes.

He was a junior bank executive and he had swindled one hundred thousand dollars from his bank - all of which he’d lost at the races. The bank examiners were coming the next day, and when he confessed the whole thing to his wife, she packed her bags and left him. Totally despondent, he walked to a nearby bridge and stood at the edge of it about to jump off and end it all.

Suddenly a voice called, ”Young man, don’t do that! There is no need to end your life! I’m a witch and I can help you!” ”I doubt it,” he said sadly, ”I’ve stolen a hundred thousand dollars from the bank, for which I’ll probably be arrested tomorrow, and my wife has left me.”

”Young man, witches can do anything,” she said. ”I’m going to perform a witch miracle. ”She said, ”ALAKAZAM! The hundred thousand dollars has been replaced and there’s another hundred thousand in your safe deposit box! ALAKAZAM! Your wife is back home again!”

He looked at her in disbelief, ”Is this all true?” he asked.

”Of course,” she said, ”But to keep it true you must do one thing.”

”Anything!” he said, ”Anything!”

”You must take me to a motel and make passionate love to me.”

He stared at her. She was an ugly old crone- as ugly as they could be, dressed in rags. Nevertheless, he agreed to her terms. He took her to a motel and made love to her all night. In the morning, as he was getting dressed and combing his hair in front of the mirror, she lay on the bed watching silently. Finally, she asked, ”Sonny, how old are you?”

”I’m thirty-two,” he said.

”Tell me something, then,” she said. ”Aren’t you a little too old to believe in witches?”


Joke #18322 posted in the category: Witch jokes.

One day a guy was bored then his friend called and said”What are you doing?’ ’Wathcing flies, I found 4. Two of tthem are males, and the other 2 are females.’ How do you know witch one is witch?’ ’Well 2 were sitting on the phone and the other 2 were sitting on beer bottles.’


Joke #18738 posted in the category: Witch jokes.

What does an Australian witch

ride on?




Joke #19739 posted in the category: Witch jokes.

Witch l: ”How do you manage to stay in shape?”

Witch 2: ”I get a lot of hexercise.”


Joke #34004 posted in the category: Witch jokes.

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