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Work and Office jokes


Cessna: ”Jones tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel.”

Tower: ”Roger Cessna 12345, reduce airspeed to best glide!! Do you have the airfield in sight?!?!!”

Cessna: ”Uh... tower, I am on the south ramp; I just want to know where the fuel truck is.”

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Joke #6504 posted in the category: Work and Office jokes.

Air traffic controller:

”Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.”

Airline pilot: ”But Center, we are at 35, 000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?”

Air Traffic controller: ”Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 737?”

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Joke #6623 posted in the category: Work and Office jokes.

A driver tucked a note under her windshield wiper and dashed off:

”I’ve circled the block for 20 minutes. I’m late for an appointment, and if I don’t park here I’ll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses.”

Returning, she came back only to find a parking ticket and this note:

”I’ve circled the block for 20 years, and if I don’t give you a ticket, I’ll lose my job... Lead us not into temptation.”

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Joke #8665 posted in the category: Work and Office jokes.

In the beginning was the Plan.

And then came the Assumptions.

And the Assumptions were without form.

And the Plan was without substance.

And darkness was upon the face of the Workers.

And they spoke among themselves, saying,

”It is a crock of sh*t, and it stinks.”

And the Workers went unto their Supervisors and said,

”It is a pail of dung, and we can’t live with the smell.

And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying,

”It is the container of the excrements, and it is very strong,

such that none may abide by it.”

And the Mangers went unto their Directors, saying,

”It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength.”

And the Directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another,

”It promotes growth, and it is very powerful.”

And the Vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him,

”This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company

with very powerful effects.”

And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.

And the Plan became Policy.

And that is how sh*t happens

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Joke #12338 posted in the category: Work and Office jokes.

Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

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Joke #12567 posted in the category: Work and Office jokes.

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